Fragment 31

— after Sappho

If I even believed in god you’d be like a goddess
to me so I tag along with you whenever I can
just to hear you talk on your cell phone and laugh.
     Your voice makes my heart

palpitate, especially when you let me put my arm
around your waist. I’m a freaking mess: I’m acting like
a moron and I get tongue-tied and my skin itches
     and breaks out; I zone out and 

can’t remember anything & sometimes I can’t
even hear anything but blood rushing in my ears.
I sweat too much and shake like a damn fool. Just
    look at me here all pale and

faded out like suburban lawns in August. When
I feel like this I know I seem completely nuts.
I feel like I could die any day now, any second,
    but somehow for you I keep going.